6 Tips to Make The Holidays Bearable for Fat Folx
Tis the season to be fat-shamed falalalala lalalala!
On today's Fat Bearable post, we are asking all of our straight-sized friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone who reads this to give the gift of actual HAPPY HOLIDAYS to the larger-bodied folx who you will host and encounter this season.
These tips are not just to make holiday gatherings more bearable for fat folx, they are also really helpful for ALL guests and hosts who have a complicated relationship with food and body.
For our fellow larger-bodied friends out there, what other tips or insights do you have on how to make the holidays welcoming and safe for all bodies? Email your thoughts to us at Arwen@wndroutdoors.com.
How to respond to unbearable anti-fat microaggressions
In a society where anti-fat bias has been so widely accepted for generations, it can seem daunting to know when to say something or when to stay quiet when anti-fat microaggressions are all around us.
Before we jump into some tips on how to deal with these unbearable comments, remarks, questions, or actions, let’s break down what the heck a microaggression is in the first place.
Microaggressions are the everyday slights, insults, putdowns, invalidations, and offensive behaviors that people experience in daily interactions with generally well-intentioned individuals who may be unaware that they have engaged in demeaning ways. (UNC School of Medicine)
In our first Fat Unbearable Blog, we included some common microaggressions that fat outdoorsy folx experience. Some of the comments we received were to simply ignore the cruel, rude and douchey things said and done to fat bodies in outdoor spaces. Here is the problem with ignoring microaggressions. There is a real impact when someone experiences these constant slights, insults, and expressed biases.
Common effects of long-term microaggressions include loss of self-esteem, feelings of exhaustion, inability to thrive in an environment, mistrust of peers, as well as increased stress. (Univ. of Edinburgh)
Also, they just really suck especially when you are just trying to experience joy outdoors. Well my fellow fat beautiful friends, we get to choose when, how, and if we respond* to these microaggressions.
*You are inherently worthy and have the right to establish a safe space by speaking up or stepping back. Choosing not to address microaggressions for the sake of your safety or to avoid emotional fuckery is also a valid decision.
Below is a chart of different ways we find useful to respond to different types of microaggressions. For our straight-sized allies who are reading this, we have also included some responses for you to help make spaces more inclusive, safe, and comfortable for fat people.
As per all of our tips and recommendations, these are things that have worked for us in many situations and sometimes they don’t because haters gonna hate. You do what makes you feel best and safe. We just want you to live your best life doing the things that bring you joy.
To summarize, microaggressions suck and we get to choose how we make our space safe by speaking up or stepping out. When experiencing a lot of microaggressions, it helps to have a supportive community with folx with shared lived experience/intersections.
We recommend looking on facebook or instagram for fat, plus-size, and weight neutral groups in your area. Be sure to check that the rules include anti-fat bias language.
Here are some articles and resources we found helpful when researching this blog topic.
Articles:
Microaggressions: How and why do they impact health?, Medical News Today
Videos:
Microaggressions- UNC School of Medicine
Microaggressions are like Mosquito Bites
Books:
Aubrey Gordon: You Just Need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People
Are you in a larger body and have stories about situations where the outdoors felt unsafe, unwelcome, inaccessible or less joyful for you because of anti-fat bias? We are looking for guest bloggers and fellow fatventurers to highlight in our Fat Bearable series. If so, please share them with me at Arwen@wndroutdoors.com
Welcome to the Fat Bearable Blog!
Despite that 68% of the population is plus-sized, taking up space outdoors in a larger body can be unsafe, unfun, uncomfortable, inaccessible, and uninviting. This is not because there are dangers like human-eating bears, but because humans can be unbearable to other humans– especially fat ones.
This Fat Bearable Blog is aimed to help reduce anti-fat bias outdoors, provide education and tools on how to increase inclusion and equity outdoors for larger-bodied people, and to empower anyone who has ever felt excluded in outdoor spaces. So put up your fierce claws, shake that adorable booty, and say to the world, “Rawr, I am awesome and worthy. Now let’s do some cool shit in nature!”.
How to be bearable to fat people outdoors. Be friendly, not patronizing.
In my most confident and happiest moments, I identify mainly as two things: fat and outdoorsy. However, I can sometimes question the second part of that identity when being patronized by others while recreating outdoors.
First, let’s all get on the same page about how I am using patronizing here.
Patronizing is to treat (someone) in a way that is apparently kind or helpful but that betrays a feeling of superiority. (Oxford dictionary)
When we say patronizing phrases to fatventurers in outdoor recreation, I think most of us are trying to be kind and encouraging and not intending to cause harm. And also, defending our intentions without critically thinking about our impact is the root of dingleberry-dom. Let’s work together to not be dingleberries to fat people outdoors. Hurray!
Below is a chart of examples of common phrases said to plus-size people outdoors. The chart includes an explanation of how these phrases may cause harm as well examples of uplifting and empowering rephrasing.
To summarize this post. The best way to avoid adding to the microaggressions plus-size people encounter in outdoor recreation are just to stick to simple greetings. A smile and the phrase “Great day for a hike” or “Have a nice day” goes a long way to encourage everyone on the trails.
I recognize that I do not speak for all fat bodies outdoors and some of y’all might find these common phrases that I find to be rooted in anti-fat bias totally acceptable for you. Awesome for you. The purpose of this post is not to shame but to share knowledge on how to increase joy and inclusion for all bodies outdoors.
Here is some further reading on the subject that we recommend.
All body shapes and sizes should be welcome outdoors—Wilderness Outdoors Nicole Segnini
I Don’t Hike to Lose Weight. I Hike Because I Love it—Outside Magazine Jenny Bruso
Hiking While Fat—Fat Girls Hiking Ginamarie Simpson
Are you in a larger body and have stories about situations where the outdoors felt unsafe, unwelcome, inaccessible or less joyful for you because of anti-fat bias? We are looking for guest bloggers and fellow fatventurers to highlight in our Fat Bearable series. If so, please share them with me at Arwen@wndroutdoors.com